Champagne High
by Misha
Summary: Challenge response. Weddings weren't always happy occasions, sometimes they could break your heart DonnaJed


Champagne High   
By Misha 

Disclaimer- I don't own the characters of the "West Wing" they belong to Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably a few other people. I'm using the characters without permission, but since I am not making money off of this story, please do not sue me. Also, I do not own the song "Champagne High" by Sister Hazel, so don't sue me for using that either, 'kay? 

Author's Notes- This is my response to the challenge posted at the "JedBartlet-DonnaMoss" group. It's really angsty and probably isn't exactly what the person had in mind, but... I thought about it and this just seemed like the perfect direction to take it in. Well, that's all for now, enjoy! 

Spoilers- Nothing, really. 

Pairing- Jed/Donna, Josh/Donna 

Rating- PG-13   
--- 

_I wasn't looking for a lifetime with you.   
I never thought it would hurt just to hear,   
"I do" and "I do"   
And I do a number on myself,   
And all that I thought - to be,   
And you'll be the one   
Who just left me undone   
By my own, hesitation._

"Do you, Donna take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?" 

"I do." The glowing bride said, her voice soft with love. 

Jed heard the words and tried not to wince. 

He didn't know why hearing those words hurt so much, after all, he had never expected more than he had gotten. 

He had known that he and Donna couldn't have a lifetime together, after all, he had pledged himself to another woman before she was even born and, though he broke those vows, he could never destroy them forever. 

He had always knew that and so had Donna. Which is why she had moved on with her life and why he had not tried to stop her. 

Yet, watching her do this was the hardest thing he had ever done and he honestly wondered if it might not just destroy him. 

_And for the million hours that we were   
Well I'll smile and remember it all,   
Then I'll turn and go.   
While your story's completed,   
mine is a long way from done._

Jed knew that he couldn't let his unhappiness show. 

After all, as far as the world knew, he had nothing to be unhappy about. This was just the long awaited wedding of the White House Deputy Chief of Staff and the woman every one had known would one day be his bride. 

Only two people knew that that woman had been more. That for stolen hours and moments, she had been the centre of Jed's world. That they had lost themselves in each other and that those memories were what allowed him to smile now, even as he watched herself pledge herself to another man. 

_I'm on a champagne high.   
Where will I be when I stop wondering why?   
On a champagne high - high._

He often wondered why. 

There were a lot of whys when it came to the two of them. Too many to name. 

He knew he should stop wondering and just accept what had to be. That life had been cruel. That he had married a woman, had children with her, been perfectly happy, until a woman young enough to be his daughter had shown him everything he was missing. 

Jed knew that he'd never understand why he had fallen head over heels for this woman or why, he had to let her go. 

_Spring turned to summer,   
but then winter turned to mean.   
The distance seemed right   
at the time it was best to leave,   
And to leave behind,   
What I once thought was fine and so real - to me_

Jed knew that telling himself that he never meant for it to happen would never change the fact that it had. 

Or that it had broken him when it ended. 

The ending had been mutual. He knew that it couldn't continue, not without destroying them both, and she wanted the chance for the life he could never give her. 

So, they both turned and left behind something, that, though it had been hidden from the rest of the world, had for a brief moment been very precious and very real to them both. 

_And while I'm still gone   
On the quest for my song   
I'm at your, celebration._

Donna truly was the most beautiful bride in the world. 

Jed had always known that she would be and he was honestly glad that she got the chance to have this moment. He could never give it to her, but he did want her to have it. 

He wanted her to have everything that she deserved and knew that Josh would try his best to fulfil that. Josh was a good man, which was why Jed was almost glad that Donna would make her life with him. 

_And for the million hours that we were   
Well I'll smile and remember it all,   
Then I'll turn and go.   
While your story's completed   
mine is a long way from done._

Jed remembers that earlier on, he once asked her about Josh. 

She had laid in his arms then, sharing a rare peaceful moment, and he hadn't been able to resist asking her how she felt about Josh. 

He remembers that she had bit her lip and after a moment had finally told him that she wasn't sure anymore. 

"I love him." She answered, tilting her blonde head. "I know that. But, there was a time when that was the big forbidden love in my life that I couldn't act on. Not so much anymore." 

He remembered that he had laughed at that and then they had got distracted from the subject of Josh. 

He had never brought it up again, but had occasionally watched the two of them together, seeing the love there and knowing that eventually that would be the road she would choose. 

He had been right of course, but then again, he often was. 

_I'm on a champagne high.   
Where will I be when I stop wondering why?   
On a champagne high.   
Toast to the future but that'd be a lie.   
On a champagne high - high._

It was his duty to give a toast and he did, but every word was a lie. 

He didn't wish Josh and Donna all the happiness in the world, because how could he when he was in love with her himself? 

Still, he did what he knew was his duty and tried not to catch the look of understanding in her eyes. 

He tried not to look at her at all, as she was all beautiful and glowing with gentle love for another man. She looked light years away from the woman who had laid cradled against his chest, sharing stolen moments of tender passion. 

But he was glad of that. For that was his Donna, the woman who belonged only to him, and this woman was someone else in entirely. 

Someone who he could never have. 

_Your wagon's been hitched to a star.   
Well now he'll be your thing that's new.   
Yeah and what little I have you can borrow   
'Cause I'm old (I'm old) I'm blue._

He had never felt as old as he did at this moment. 

She was so young and had her entire life in front of her and he had lived most of his already. He was too old for her, he had always known that, but never as much as at this moment. 

Maybe, because when he was with her, he hadn't felt old. But as she had once told him, it wasn't physical age that mattered, it was the mind. 

Of all the things he and Donna shared in those stolen moments when they were in that world of their own, he thinks he'll miss the talks the most. 

They talked about everything, she was the first person he had ever met who could match his appetite for learning. She loved little obscure facts almost as much as he did. 

He doesn't think that trivia will ever be the same for him now, he'll always associate it with her. 

_And for the million hours that we were   
Well I'll smile and remember it all,   
Then I'll turn and go -_

He left the reception early. 

He claimed a headache and an early day tomorrow, given the fact that he had a country to run and all. Everyone accepted it and he said his goodbyes to the happy couple before he left. 

He kissed Donna's cheek and tried to remember all the times he had kissed her soft mouth or the fact that he never would again. 

Quickly, he turned to Josh and told him to take care of her. Then, he tried to stop his heart from breaking as Josh shot an adoring look at his bride and assured him that he'd do his best. 

Jed smiled and said something that was expected of him and then left quickly, looking at Donna one last time as he turned to go. 

She was so beautiful, but then, she always had been and, Jed knew, that in his memories she forever would be. 

The memories that would last longer than the champagne high he needed to make this day bearable. 

_On a champagne high (so high)   
Where will I be when I stop wondering why?   
On a champagne high (so high)   
Toast to the future but that'd be a lie.   
On a champagne high (so high)   
Where will I be when I stop wondering why?   
On a champagne high - high (so high)   
(So high you left me undone.....)_

The End 


End file.
